Every muppet that mattered, ranked ...

ANDY KRYZA, THE THRILLIST:

"Look, we know people have ranked the Muppets before. Hell, as I was contemplating this assignment with the vigor of a serial killer poring over newspapers looking for mentions of himself, Deadspin fired out a list of its own, one that looks about as arbitrary as, well, making lists about decades-old puppets. It had no context. No explanation. It was to true fan lists what the Moopets are to the Muppets. Hilarious, but not real.

"You can say the same about me, sure. But I've seen ever movie, every episode, and every spin-off. I am a true fan. As such, my list is perfect. It is final. And it doesn't include anything but Muppets that have appeared on The Muppet Show, Muppets Tonight, and Muppets films based in the universe established by The Muppet Movie. That means no Treasure Island. And certainly no David Bowie bulge from Labyrinth.

"In total, there are more than 500 Muppets. These are the 65 that matter. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have newspapers to clip. Wocka wocka."

Discover the ranking, here.